Doris Who?

August 26, 2010

The second round of auditions for “Bye Bye Birdie” were Monday night, so I figured I HAD to hear something sometime Wednesday.  And I figured the director would probably call instead of email this round. 

I was right – except she called while I was feeding Juice.  So I sat there silently pleading with him to drink fasterfasterfaster, all the while telling myself to NOT get excited, because if I got excited, I would probably be disappointed, because I probably was not going to get the part of Rose.  I went over and over the three possible scenarios in my head – 1) She offers me the part of Rose.  I scream and shriek and giggle and rainbows burst forth over my head.  2) She offers me the small part of the tap-dancing bimbo.  I accept happily – tap-dancing, yay!  3) She offers me a part in the chorus.  I politely accept and hang up, disappointed, but knowing that after all, I only have two credits on my resume, and I have a long way to go before I can begin to expect lead roles.

Juice finally finished his bottle, and I set him down and ran to call back the director.  But Moo announced she had to poop.  So I had to wait and wait and wait and wait for the poop to come out, and then do the reward chart, and then the reward bag, and oh then also she’s thirsty, and then Juice started fussing so I rocked and rocked and rocked him, until he finally fell asleep and I put him in his crib and FINALLY made the call… 

…which went to voice mail.  So Moo and I played ponies for 45 very long minutes.  Sweetie Belle had a baby.  It was very exciting.

Finally, the phone rang, and as I picked up the phone, I implored Moo to please, please not interrupt.

It was the director.  I steeled myself for disappointment and tried to keep excitement at bay, and then she offered me…Doris MacAfee?

Mama:  “Oh!  Doris…wait…who?”

Director:  “Mrs. MacAfee.  The mom.”

Mama:  “Oh!  Oh!  Well…sure!  Okay… Yes, of course!”

She assured me they were going “younger,” so my husband wouldn’t be 20 years older than me.  We chatted for a second and hung up, and I was left sitting on the couch, feeling…bewildered.

Doris MacAfee?  I didn’t read for that role.  Crazy.  And I think she’s a soprano…  And I don’t get to dance. 

I can’t help but feel a little disappointed at getting so close to the role of Rose and then missing out.  But I’m also thrilled to have a new challenge, and a new show to add to my resume.

But I don’t get to dance. 

But I’m in the show!  And I’m not just chorus!  No, I’m playing a woman with a 16-year-old daughter.  I always thought I looked young on stage, but maybe that era is over.  Am I destined for all mom roles now?  Do I finally look my age?

…Maybe I should get a facial?

P.S. – I’ve got a question for any theatre folks – have you ever asked a director why you didn’t get a particular role?  Is that considered a faux pas?  I doubt I could get the courage to ask, but I do think it would be helpful to know if there is something I could do differently in future auditions.  Anybody ever try that?

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2 Responses to “Doris Who?”


  1. Wow! What a cool turn of the dime! Maybe you could start with a question more geared to the role you DID get. Such as, what was it about my audition that you saw Mrs. MacFee? That would also help you know what it was you did that she liked!

    Love you, Mama!

  2. nathanyates Says:

    I think it might be risky asking the question. There are so many reasons as to why you might not get cast, and some are totally not even reasonable reasons (a cousin was up for the job or something). It might put them on the spot. I’d probably get someone else I trust to look at my audition pieces and have them offer their opinion.


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