May 28, 2010

Because I am, ahem, 36, firmly ensconced in the dreaded OVER-35 category, I have to have special monitoring during these last weeks of pregnancy.  So yesterday at my doctor’s appointment, I was led to a soft-lit room with the biggest, cushiest easy chair I’ve ever seen.  Before I saw that chair, I resented being singled out as potentially high-risk just because of my age (I’m not old!!), but ohhhhhhh man that chair was comfortable.  Then the nurse strapped the monitors on my belly, turned on the machine, and I could hear my little man’s heart thumping away madly.  Suddenly I realized that I got to sit in a quiet room, by myself, in a comfy chair, listening to my baby for 20 minutes.  Awesome.

I’ve been so exhausted this week and kicking myself for it – feeling like somehow I’m being wussy, like I should be able to just get over it, get UP and clean the damn floors.  But listening to him go thumpa-thumpa, I remembered that there is an almost fully-grown little man inside of me, and I carry him around everywhere I go, while at the same time trying to keep up with a 3-year-old.  So yeah, that’s exhausting.  Sorry, floors.  I’ll get to you eventually.

Then he started moving around, kicking at the monitor, and his little heartbeat spiked, from thumpa-thumpa to wooka-wooka-wooka, and I panicked a bit, in a feeling very familiar from when Moo was first born and I obsessed over her every single exhalation.  I wondered if those spikes were normal…I wondered if I should call the nurse – no call button!  They trapped me in the cursed comfy chair!  Then Dr. Schwartz poked her head in and glanced at the print-out.  “Wow, that’s a happy baby,” she chirped, and disappeared again.



4 Responses to “Thumpity-Thump”

  1. Beth H Says:

    yay!!!!! yeah, forget the stupid floors – they aren’t going anywhere! : )

  2. from the wings Says:

    I just love the way your writing brings the reader into the moment with you. These snapshots are so touching and real. You are a very talented lady.

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