Head in the Sand

May 20, 2010

I don’t think I have ever been this unprepared for an audition.  It’s terrible.  I think I didn’t realize that I would have absolutely zero alone-time to rehearse.  Maybe I should be able to practice while it’s just Moo and me hanging around the house, but either she comes in the room and stares at me really intensely while I’m singing, which I find unnerving, or she just talks at me as loud as she can until I give up and agree to be Snow White.  Or she compliments the voice of the person singing on the CD – but no comment on her mommy’s voice.  Sigh.

And maybe I should be able to practice when Moo naps, but I’m afraid to wake her up, and also, I am FREAKING EXHAUSTED.  By the time three o’clock hits, my body is aching and my eyelids are fluttering and I barely have the energy to eat three cookies before attacking the couch with my face.

And maybe I should be able to practice at night when Moo’s in bed and it’s just Herbie and me hanging around, but I just cannot practice in front of Herbie.  It’s not Herbie – I couldn’t practice in front of anyone.  I am not one of those people that can try out my monologue in front of friends and then say, “So whadaya think?”  No no no.  Even if he said nice things, I would be able to see it in his eyes if he thought my performance was pitiful.  Or shameful.  Or embarrassing.

I desperately need a Fortress of Solitude. 

Or can I just cancel it?  Please please can I just oh please cancel it???


7 Responses to “Head in the Sand”

  1. Katy Says:

    Ughh, Steve has been trying to get me to do my songs and monologue for him, my roommate and my roommate’s girlfriend (both talented actors/singers). But there is NO WAY IN HELL I can do that, for the exact reasons you discussed. For some reason, performing for intimidating strangers feels somewhat less scary than performing for my close friends and boyfriend in our living room. Inexplicably.
    I’m feeling ridiculously unprepared as well. 😦 And freaking out a lot. But don’t cancel! We’re doing this, damn it!

    • mamarose Says:

      I completely understand that performing for strangers is less intimidating for friends, and frankly I think Steve is the weird one and we are totally normal. Just think, in 48 hours it will all be over…AHHH!

  2. Rosalind Says:

    No, you may not cancel.

  3. from the wings Says:

    Tonight we are going to begin, “Mommy rehearsal time”. This is the block of time where Moo and I find something to do elsewhere in the house and you lock yourself in “soon to be baby’s” room and sing and act your heart out. No debate here. Because Rosalind said, you may not cancel.

  4. Sonia Says:

    Echoing Rosalind…


  5. baby, no. don’t back out. do it. even if it’s brutal, do it. don’t beat yourself up for not being able to belt out the songs like you would otherwise. do your best (like i know you will). that’s all you owe youself. so….GO! KICK ASS!

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