Auf Wiedersehen, Heidi Klum

February 18, 2010

Speaking of Heidi Klum, I just learned she’s come out with a maternity line for A Pea in the Pod.  Let’s take a look-see at what she’s come up with…

For the pregnant flamenco dancer!  (I love how they couldn’t quite be bothered to iron the entire dress.)

If you have a needle and thread and a hospital gown, I’m pretty sure you could make this yourself for much less than $88.00.

For the pregnant dominatrix who really needs to keep the money coming in:

Now this is something that might actually tempt me to try it on, because I am a sucker for leopard print.  And then I’ll wrestle it on in the dressing room, look in the mirror and remember that I am not a size zero Heidi Klum lookalike model wearing a fake pregnant belly.

And if I did buy that $78 leopard-print t-shirt, what would I wear it with?  Leggings?  I haven’t done the whole legging thing yet, I still have too many leftover legging nightmares from 7th grade (“Is my Esprit knockoff sweater too short?  Are my leggings sagging??  Can everybody see my crotch?!!”).  Hey, I know!  Maybe I could wear a unitard!

Ah yes, that will be perfect.  And I’m sure it will be NO HASSLE AT ALL when I have to go to the bathroom 12 times per day.  Plus, so flattering!  My favorite part is the back view:

I guess I’m the only pregnant woman who gains weight anywhere besides around the baby?  No one else has that baby weight creep around to the backside and asswards?

Nice try, Klum.


7 Responses to “Auf Wiedersehen, Heidi Klum”

  1. Courtney Says:

    Uh, you’re at 5 months and just now pulling out your maternity clothes? Color me bright green. I didn’t fit in any of my pre-pregnancy clothes by the end of my first trimester! More than one person asked what I was having and when I said “a boy” they’d say “congrats – what about the other one?” because pregnant women just LOVE fat jokes. Oh, and at 6 months I had a TSA agent question my fitness to board a plane. Sounds like you can swing those skinny-mama, baby bump clothes just fine (although the leather pants might be a little much…)

    • mamarose Says:

      Ahhhh, but as I learned after I finally got to your email and read the fantastic blog, you weren’t just big-big, but about to have a preemie-baby/possible complications big! And I’m only smaller this time around because of all that fun nausea/stomach flu stuff during the first trimester. Isn’t it amazing how are there are always stupid people out there to say stupid things? Shouldn’t pregnancy tact be SO easy? I’m at the point where I want to wear a little sign that says, “Yes, I AM pregnant,” because people I see regularly kinda look at me funny, like, is she pregnant or did she just suddenly get fat?

      • Courtney Says:

        I hear you. I came very close to getting a t-shirt that said “does this baby make my butt look big?”

  2. soniar07 Says:

    LMAO! Ok, best freakin’ commentary on catolog stupid fashion clothes ever! I’m reading at working and laughing so loud people are wondering what the hell’s wrong with me.

  3. Beth H. Says:

    i agree, best commentary ever! WTF is up with that unitard?!!!

  4. Shelly Says:

    This is so freaking ridiculous. What woman would wear this shit, pregnant or not? That unitard would be perfect for the Sandy part in Grease if she would have put out at the drive-in and ended knocked up.

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