Pokes, Pants, Potty, and Peet

February 17, 2010

* I’m in that honeymoon phase of pregnancy (five months).  I’m not huge, so I can still function normally, and I get little pokes and kicks all day long.   The other night, we got in bed and Herbie put his hand on my tummy to say good night to our little one, and baby bro immediately started poke-poke-poking furiously right where Herbie had laid his hand, as if to say, “Daddy!  Daddy!   Hi hi hi!  It’s me, it’s me, hi Daddy hi!!!”  Of course, I suppose he could have actually been saying, “Argh!  Ugh!  Mommy, get off your back!  Daddy, you’re squishing me!”  But we still had a nice melty parents-to-be moment.

* All that nicey-nice stuff aside, I only fit into one pair of normal pants now, and they cut into my belly so that I strip them off as soon as Moo and I return home, and waddle around half-naked searching in vain for a pair of clean comfy pants, which makes Moo giggle.  I need more comfy pants.  So I finally got out all my old maternity clothes, which are even uglier than I remembered.  Yesterday I went shopping for cuter maternity jeans, and found a couple pairs that fit, but couldn’t bring myself to buy them because it’s just so depressing to spend money on something that affirms my impending cow-ness.  This time around I was hoping to embrace the more body-skimming pregnancy styles over the tent styles, stupidly mistaking myself for Amanda Peet or Heidi Klum.  OH how I despise pregnant celebrities, especially Amanda Peet, who insists on getting pregnant exactly when I do, so that I must compare my body to her insultingly tiny one, and listen to her on David Letterman after giving birth the first time around, say things like, “Oh, it was SO easy to lose the weight.  Breastfeeding, you know…la-di-da!”  YOU HAVE A TRAINER!  AND A PERSONAL CHEF!  AND PROBABY YOU HAD A TUMMY TUCK!  I felt better when she did another interview when her kiddo was a year old, mentioning how her daughter wasn’t really talking yet.  Nyeh, nyeh, my daughter is a genius and yours is not!   Pbbbbblll!

* Unfortunately, my genius daughter hasn’t had much more success on the potty.  She is really not that interested, but I am done waiting for her to get interested.  She’s fast approaching three-years-old, and her baby brother is fast approaching after that, and I say Nyet! Non! Nein! to two kids in diapers.  So while she vascillates between having a fairy birthday party and a rodeo birthday party, I am forming my foolproof potty-training plan, which is….um….uhhhhh….help?


2 Responses to “Pokes, Pants, Potty, and Peet”

  1. pam b Says:

    when does moo turn 3? i feel like she just turned 2.. robot party fun and all! dont sweat it 🙂 and believe me, its not THAT bad having two in diapers. somehow i survived two kids in cloth diapers – i was worried too, but it worked out

  2. […] 18, 2010 Speaking of Heidi Klum, I just learned she’s come out with a maternity line for A Pea in the Pod.  Let’s take […]

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