Out of Hiding

December 9, 2009

So…it’s been kind of a rough month.

Rough, punctuated by bursts of elation.  It’s enough to make a Mama feel like breaking off from the world and crawling into her couch cave with a fleece blanket and a nice cuppa tea.

I remember when I was first pregnant with Moo, I felt kind of nauseous (damn you, broccoli!), but mostly I floated around, bouncing lightly off the walls, until Herbie would pull me down for a while, tempting me with ice cream.  My world exploded in visions of flower-print onesies and little baby giggles.  I was scared, but my God, I was going to be a Mommy!

Hey, guess what?  I’m pregnant.

12 weeks – due in June.

I know, it’s exciting, right?  I found out the last day of our 5th anniversary trip to Sedona, and when I looked at the test, I cried with joy and felt my blood rush to my toes (to tell them the good news, I guess?).  And then I wrapped up the test and gave it to Herbie as an “oops, one more” anniversary present, and he cried and hugged me and repeated, “Seriously?  Seriously?!” just like he did when I told him about Moo.

The only difference was, I felt a little bit relieved to be so excited.  Because there’s this undeniable bittersweet taste to it all – I was going to audition for City of Angels, and Oklahoma, and Sweet Charity – and now that’s all out the window, for what, about two years from now?  Maybe a little less?  I worked so hard to regain a vital part of my identity, and now I’m going to get swallowed up by Mommydom.  Willingly swallowed up, yes, but I still feel just a little bit sad to say goodbye to the stage so soon.

Not that I’m not thrilled – I must stress – VERY. EXCITED.  Another baby, YAYYYY!  But then, the nausea started.  I just was not that sick with Moo, but this one – holy shit.   It started with fish sticks.  Then cherry pie, then quiche, then the smell of Doc, Herbie, and Moo – then ALL food groups, and then I couldn’t even set foot in the kitchen, and pretty much just lay on the couch moaning and growling at Herbie. 

Combined with crazy hormones and the bittersweet aspect – NOT A GOOD TIME.  And I just couldn’t write about how I felt so sick and confused, and all I could think about was being pregnant, and is the baby healthy, and what is that cramp I’m feeling?  Is that normal?  I don’t remember!  Oh God, toilet…

It finally started to ease up just a bit before Thanksgiving, so that I thought I might be able to sit at the table for Thanksgiving dinner, and just not look at anyone while they’re chewing.  But at 2 a.m. I started experiencing stomach cramps so bad I couldn’t help but compare them to labor pains.  So I spent Thanksgiving alone on the couch, crying through Ghost Whisperer reruns and trying to convince myself it was just the stomach flu, nothing worse.

It was just the stomach flu.  And thanks to that nasty bug and all the nausea, I’m a skinny pregnant lady, which is a nice way to start out compared to Moo, when I ate nonstop like a drooling hyena for the first four months straight and endured a lecture from the nurse practioner about getting too fat.  Nurst practitioners are evil.

Anyway, I’ve reached 12 weeks, I’ve had the screenings and the ultrasounds, and our baby looks beautiful and healthy.  The nausea is beginning to abate, our Christmas tree is glowing, my daughter serenades me with “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” whenever I desire, and this candy cane is delicious.

I think I’m ready to rejoin the world.

Oh, and it’s a boy.



12 Responses to “Out of Hiding”

  1. Emily Blagg Says:

    Yayyyyyy!!! I knew it. Congratulations! I’m soooo happy for you and Herbie and Moo 🙂 A girl and now a boy, one of each, it’s perfect. Glad to hear you’re feeling better. Welcome back, Baby Mama.

  2. kristi Says:

    WOOOOOWWWW! Yay!!! Yiiipppppppppeeeeeee!!! Stupid pregnancy. And also yay pregnancy! So. very. worth. it. !!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!

  3. Kara Says:

    Congrats!! I am right there with you- 21 weeks along- and I can totally relate to the bittersweet-ness of it (and feeling horrible for about 11 weeks!). 2nd trimester has been amazing…have you told your daughter yet? We haven’t told Kate- I am just not sure how to explain April to her but I won’t be able to avoid the topic much longer! And how do they know a boy so early?? Amazing!

  4. Beth H. Says:

    A boy?!! that’s great! SO happy for y’all! And glad you are back to blogging – I’ve missed reading you!

  5. Sallie Glerum Says:

    Congratulations to you all! I’m happy to hear your news . . . I was beginning to worry without your cheery blog punctuating my day.
    Sallie Glerum

  6. from the wings Says:

    I know you will be back on stage soon enough! After birth, breast feeding, etc. But it is out there waiting for you! So enjoy that candy cane, you deserve it.

    We are all glad you are back to writing. And I am glad that we can finally tell people.

    A BOY!?!?

  7. pam b Says:

    congrats! when a few people posted that you had been mia for a month i thought “hm must be pg!” so of course this pg feels totally different – different sex baby!

    what to do with a boy? best piece of advice: point his stuff down or the pee doesnt end up in the diaper 😉

  8. Leslie Says:

    a) OMG
    b) OMG
    c) OMG
    d) OMG
    e) all of the above

  9. Mary Says:

    Congratulations!!! Boys are great you won’t believe how fun they are. And boy do they love their mommies!

  10. soniar07 Says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I’m so happy for you!! I’ve heard boys DO love their mommy’s lots. Just look forward to it 🙂 *mwah*

  11. Anita Says:

    YEAH BABY MAMA!!!!!!!! Congratulations to the three of you! Glad you’re back, I need my daily fix of Mamarose. Anita

  12. Cat Says:

    Hoy cow! This is what I get for being engrossed in homework and not keeping up with you! CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so excited and happy for both of you. As for the performer in you, the stage has been there for thousands of years and will still be there. These moments? Not so much. You will always be an amazing actress – no matter what path you follow in a few years. And besides – now you will have a boy to play the boy parts! 🙂

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