Waah wah wah

March 16, 2009

I probably shouldn’t start writing at nearly-midnight, because all I want to write about is how I am SO TIRED.  Which makes for incredibly captivating reading, of course.

I’m disappointed in myself for slacking on the blog.  My stamina is being sorely tested – as a mom, wife, and performer.   First, we are out of frozen waffles, and I’m pretty sure they can revoke my Mom membership card for that oversight.  Second, my husband spent all day mowing the lawn, repairing the roof, and then doing all the boring computer maintenance that I’m too lazy to do, and all I did tonight was lay on the couch and grumble. 

And finally – performing.  Oy, my aching bones!  This show requires vast amounts of energy – we are all on stage almost the entire show, and at this point, with rehearsals starting to feel endless, we can hardly tell our right foot from our left, much less remember if we’re supposed to bounce up and down or sway side to side.  Here’s a quick breakdown:

1) I sing a song and we all run around madly shaking bells.  At end of song, I am left for gawping for breath, hoping I don’t look like a dying fish.
2)  Ricky sings.  Whew!  A short break.
3)  Everybody else sings.  Hey, what am I complaining about?
4)  We all sing, bend our bodies into impossible positions, fall on the floor, and then dance with crutches.  Easy-peasy!
5)  Blaze and I sing about the grass being greener on somebody else’s weiner, pot roasts, and large whale sexual organs.  Or something like that.
6)  Everybody else sings again.  Short nap in the wings, perhaps?
7)  Money money money money and let’s all run around in circles with hats and oh shit do we take off our hats now?  Now?  What about now?  Yikes, ending pose, and…
8)  Zwooom rush off stage to whooosh rush back on stage and sing EVIL SONG FROM HELL, which surprisingly, every once in a while, just for a moment, is a little bit fun.  Try to paste look of ease and pleasure on my face instead of the face I make while pooping or throwing up, which would come more naturally during this song.
9)  And zwip! skitter to the wings to rrrrip! off skirts and fwoop!  fwoop! put on sparkly jackets while hoping that my ass doesn’t look huge in the green leotard and singing about how the world goes around and around and around and around and you get the idea…
10) and Bonjour!  We all sing in different languages to the tune of “New York, New York” while trying to remember whether our arms are at a 45 or 90-degree angle and how long do we hold “Yorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrk?” and man, I really do think my ass will look blubbery in that leotard. 

The End.

And that’s just the second act!

If I wasn’t so tired, it would be so much easier to remember that this is all so gloriously FUN.

Zzzzz.

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