Unanswered Questions

March 8, 2009

Tonight, I really feel 35.  Or maybe even older.

I know it’s just because I’m so exhausted.  My back hurts all the time.  I miss my daughter and my husband.  Rehearsal has been intense and challenging, with moments of harmonic bliss and moments of fringe-fueled blind rage.

Somebody related to the production asked me today, “Are you an actress?”

And now I can’t get that question out of my mind.  Am I an actress?  Do I want to be an actress?  Do I want to pursue this as some sort of career, or something I do once a year as a fun hobby, or hell do I even want to do another show?  What happens after this show, besides my long lazy ride on the Boat of Inevitable Aging?

I don’t have an answer to that question.  But I know that at the moment the woman asked me, ‘Well, are you an actress?”  I wanted to reply, “No, I’m a mom.”

But I didn’t say anything.  Because at the moment, in my haze of rehearsal and mommy exhaustion, I feel a little lost.  I’ve accomplished what I’d hoped to, but what lies ahead?

I still don’t have answer.


2 Responses to “Unanswered Questions”

  1. Beth H. Says:

    maybe you should look at the “possibly related posts” & ask a Lore Nerd. They may have an answer! (BTW, not trying to be insensitive; just hoping to make you laugh in your moment of who-am-i anxiety, which i can totally relate to.)

  2. Kara Says:

    I think the answer is Yes- you are an actress. And a mom. And lots of other great things too!

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