Stop! Thief!

February 9, 2009

Yesterday I made a solo trip to…let’s call it “Bullseye”…to stock up on food, diapers, and Valentine’s Day accoutrements.

I unabashedly love Bullseye.  I love the possibility of finding a cute shirt for Moo, or crazy socks for me, or some little dollar-section treat, while at the same time picking up toothpaste and ground beef. 

But my trip got off to a bad start in the parking lot.  I wasn’t talking on the phone or putting on lip gloss or anything (okay, I was singing “All That Jazz” and it was the ending where I get really excited), but when I pulled into the parking spot, I suddenly heard a loud CRUNCH.

I immediately ducked down in my seat in case people were staring and laughing, and after a safe interval, got out to check the damage.  Crap.  The front – I don’t know what it’s called, wheel bed? – was somewhat scrunched.  Yes, I ran into the curb when I was parking.  Admittedly, I am a leftie parker.  When presented with a choice of parking right or left, I always choose left – I’m just more comfortable with left-swerving maneuvers.  But yesterday I chose right, and I scrunched the car. 

Wandering the aisles of Bullseye, I pondered lying to Herbie.  Maybe I wouldn’t say anything, and when he eventually noticed, I could act surprised and claim someone must have hit me in the parking lot.  

As I considered lying to my husband, I filled up the cart with more than I had planned.  Some cupcake sprinkles, cupcake frosting, a Moo-sized broom (lately she loves sweeping – hooray!), wine, more wine, a buncha meat, Valentine’s Day stickers, the giant box of Aunt Annie’s mac n’ cheese…  When I finally made it to the checkout stand, I worried that the bill might be over $100 – shoot.  Oh well, it was a stocking-up trip.

I sort of zoned out as the Bullseye Lady ran my stuff through the scanner – there was some confusion over the broom, and the appearance of my earth-friendly shopping bags totally threw her off.  When I swiped my card for a total of $47.52, I was pleasantly suprised.  Sweet – I overestimated!

I threw everything in the backseat and tried to ignore the scrunched part of the car.  Driving home, a light suddenly went off in my head.  Wait a minute – $47.52??  The box of diapers alone was 20 bucks!  At a red light, I dug out the receipt and scanned the list of items.  No diapers – no wine – no Moo-sized broom!

I know there are those saintly folks who would have turned around.

I am not saintly.

But I did tell Herbie the truth about the car when I got home.  And then handed my daughter some stolen property with which to play.

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5 Responses to “Stop! Thief!”

  1. Rosalind Says:

    The last time I went to Bullseye, they forgot to ring me up for some expensive cheese. I did not go back either. Is it still considered stolen when you tried to pay for it and they just didn’t charge you? I’d like to call that a gift.

  2. kristi Says:

    Yours totally makes a better story. 😉

  3. from the wings Says:

    I agree with Roz. It was a gift.

  4. Beth H. Says:

    I agree too – it’s a gift! wish i had your luck; 2 days ago at a grocery store i got charged for something i did NOT have in my cart! it was a phantom “grocery” item that costs $8.99 per pound, and apparently i had $3 worth. dangit! only $3, not really worth going back for, but it still sucks.

  5. Aaron Says:

    Having worked retail…I hope their register didn’t come up too short at the end of their shift! 😮


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