More Photos

Here’s the second installment of pictures from our dress rehearsal.  I call this series, “CRAZY FACES:”

“Coffee in a Cardboard Cup” – we would really like some coffee, please:

 
 COFFEE NOW!

Nobody tell Ricky I posted this one:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Taking a little break to play beach ball:

 

 ”OHHHH no, two of our castmates appear to have expired.”

Attacking Norm with crutches!

 

 

 Don’t tell Ricky about this one, either.  CA-CAW, CA-CAW!:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wow, that really looks – I mean, just so you know, I am NOT, ummm:

Fringe A-Flyin’

 Heh heh…

Evidence That I’m Not Making All This Up

Somebody was taking pictures at dress rehearsal!

We do a lot of pointing in this show.  We really, REALLY want you to pay attention:

 

One of the evil harmony songs in which I look like I’m being tortured:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I believe I am singing the word, “JAAAAAAAZZZZ!”: 

 

Roller skates!  That is genuine  terror on Ricky’s face:

 

My “Mamma Mia” costume!  This is the point in the song where I ask the audience if my thighs look fat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“He liked to throw the bull, but he was no matador!”

Norm Saperstein, my alter ego’s true love:

 

 

 

 

 

“The Grass is Always Greener,” in which apparently I make this crazy expression:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think that might be my favorite picture ever.

Another Opening, Another Show

Well, Moo and Herbie made it about two-thirds of the way through the first act last night, until Moo started falling asleep and Herbie’s back started killing him from rocking her in the aisle.

Apparently Moo loved the music and singing (such as it is – I wish she could review the show), but when the talking started, she’d turn into a wiggle worm and ask Herbie, “Dadddy music?  More music?”  So they made lots of trips to the polka dot lobby to run from dot to dot.  I did get to twirl my twirly ribbon at Moo during the, uh, twirly ribbon song.  Herbie said Moo had a hard time recognizing me, but when I came out a-twirling and saw them standing there in the corner, I decided, eh, it’s just a rehearsal, and twirled and grinned like mad at Moo.  She said today she liked my green hat, but I suspect she was just being polite. 

I had a rather soul-ripping moment when I saw Herbie and Moo during the twirly ribbon song – it’s such a silly number, and my instinct on seeing them standing there was to throw down my pink ribbon stick and run to them.  But then I also felt pride - there I was up on stage with my family watching me, and so as a result I got all choked up while trying to sing about getting drunk at bars in Cremona (there are lots of bars in Cremona).  But not Parma.  Everybody knows Parma is a stinking hellhole.

ANYway.  They left before “Too Darn Hot,” which left me pretty blue.  Not that it’s a masterpiece, but I think Moo would love all the dancing and raucousness.  Then we struggled through the rest of the show and I was left wondering if our show is a tad embarassing.

Maybe a tad.

If you are among the saintlike and plan on attending the show, I feel I must warn you: there might be a few moments during which your ears may protest the sounds assaulting them.  If you cover your ears, I will understand.  Sometimes I find it hard not to cringe on stage.  Even when I’m the one singing.

The solos, the duets – they’re lovely.  It’s the chorus numbers that are rather alarming.  We just don’t know the songs very well, and now it’s further complicated because the band and the singers have a hard time hearing each other.  In retrospect, maybe such a small production doesn’t need three brass instruments, two wind, a bass, a piano and drums.  They just drown us out.  So we’re constantly getting off tempo and trying to catch up, plus there’s the whole “find a note” issue.  Ohhh we’re finding notes - but often they are notes that do not exist in nature.

But we’ve done all we can at this point, and now I can only cross my fingers, reapply my lipstick, and kick up my heels.  And remind you that when this is all over, I am getting all of you stupid drunk in gratitude for all your support.

Moo and Herbie Go to a Show

Herbie is bringing Moo to our final dress rehearsal tonight.  We’re allowed to bring two guests, and I figured this was the best opportunity for Moo to see what this whole ‘rehearsal’ thing is all about.  And maybe since it’s still officially a rehearsal, people won’t be so apt to scold if Moo, you know, cries or shrieks, or yells “HI MOMMY!” repeatedly.  That’s what pacifiers are for, anyway, right?

I’m excited for her to come see me, but worried that such a strange new experience, with the dark theatre and people running around madly on stage, will scare her.  I hope they don’t have to leave right away.  I hope Moo at least gets to see me say a couple lines and perhaps dance a little bit.  For these past two months, she has queried me every morning, “Mommy go ‘hearsal t’night?” and sweetly waved goodbye as I drove away almost every evening.  So I’m just dying for her to have some sort of image to put with the idea of “rehearsal.” 

This morning Herbie and I told her that she would be going with Daddy to Mommy’s show, and she kind of flipped out, bouncing up and down and shouting, “OKAY!  YAY!  I go Mommy’s show!”  Then she had lots of questions.  “Costumes?  Mommy wear hat?  Mommy do showgirl walk?”

Oh yes, my dear, Mommy wears quite a hat.  And Mommy will definitely be breaking out her showgirl walk.  Maybe we should practice our showgirl arms again, Moo!

Oddly, I think I am quite nervous about both Moo and Herbie watching me perform.  I love these two people so much, and I want them to be proud of me.  I want to do right by them, after all they’ve done to support me during this quest.  Especially Herbie, not only because he has sacrificed peaceful nights, time off, and other nightly activities (ahem), but because Herbie is an actor, too.  He majored in theatre, even!  So even though I know that he will saaaay he’s very proud of me, I just dearly hope that I can do well enough so that he’s not just saying it.  I hope that he can look at me and say from one actor to another, “Hey, good work.” 

And I hope that he doesn’t read this before he goes to the show tonight or he’ll feel all kinds of awkward pressure and not know WHAT the heck to say to me!

Wednesday Dress Rehearsal Stats

Costume Changes: 7

Lipstick Shade: Red velvet

Do I Have Lipstick On My Teeth?:  Yes, you do.

Number of Times I Dropped My Flask On Stage: 2

Number of Times I Adlibbed a Line: 2

Sneaking Suspicion That I Will Be Adlibbing a Line Almost Every Night?:  Mm-hmm.

Glorious Costco Bounty Provided by Gina: Red Vines, Rice Krispie treats, animal crackers, BBQ chips, dried fruit, granola bars, Oreos!

Did The Object of my Anger Leave Early Again?  Yes.  GRRR!  But not by much.

Hey, Is Your Hat Supposed To Look Like That?:  No, it is falling off my head.

Number of Scene-Change/Prop Screw-Ups:  Approximately 9

Motivational Sign Posted by Director:  “Be Smarter!  Be Faster!  Be Funier!”

“Too Darn Hot”: Mildly warm but getting warmer

Speed At Which I Must Run From Stage Right to Stage Left in Time to Make It On Stage For My Bow:  72 mph

Hallway Floor Upon Which I Must Run:  Oil-slicked, clearly a dastardly plan by Wile E. Coyote.

Rehearsals Left Before Opening Night: I don’t want to think about it.  (Okay, one. AHHHHHH!)