Refresh (F5)

Nine days ago I auditioned for “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying” at a theater in Scottsdale.  It was all part of my master plan for the year – to diversify, branch out, and get to know as many theatre people in town as I can (without heading all the way to Gilbert).  I had some doubts – I haven’t done two shows back to back before and I don’t know what kind of strain that would put on my family.   But I know this theater does great work, and “How to Succeed” is a show I’d love to do.

Eight days ago I went to the callback (yay!).  I got there at 6 p.m. and left at midnight.  In between, I learned and sang two songs, read and read and read again for three different roles, learned a dance with a TOE-TOUCH and a SOMERSAULT and a KNEE SLIDE, performed the dance, performed the dance again, read some more, watched people get cut (but not necessarily out of the running), read some more, belted out a song at 11:30 p.m., stood on stage and tried to look pretty and awake, watched more people get cut (but not necessarily out of the running), and looked around in amazement when there were only three girls remaining.  …What that meant, I’m not sure.

Three days ago I went back again for another callback.  The director mentioned I’d be reading for the sexy secretary role (who, me?), so I attempted to turn it up to 11.  I poofed my hair, slipped on my slinkiest dress, plucked my eyebrows into reluctant obedience, painted my nails slutty pink, and even wrangled some ridiculous lashes onto my eyes.  I got there and read again for all three roles.  I went home after about an hour.

Supposedly, supposedly, the casting results would be posted on Facebook and the theatre’s website by today, February 15th.

ARE THEY POSTED?

No, they are not.

And so I quietly go insane…